I always wanted Twins!!!

(Disclaimer: For some rambling reason, this one's a long one. Bear with me.)

I've figured it out...for the last year-no, maybe 15 months-no, well since Halloween 2007, I have figured out what's been nagging me about what people have been saying about having twins.

"I've always wanted twins, but only have gotten one!!" It's what 2 out of 3 people have consistently told me since I've introduced the girls to the world. Why, just today we were in the elevator at Dillard's and a lady had to share the last two years of her daughter's life of twinhood. She was a complete doll. So sweet and gooshy over the girls - totally oblivious to the meltdown in progress by my sleep deprived 'almost four year old'. Alexander awoke this morning before 6 a.m with a crick in his neck. And let me say the words, "milking it" are NOT a slight exaggeration. He truly couldn't turn his little head to the left and it was freaking him out.

I'm drifting from the point...Once "Ms. Doll" snapped out of "multiples bliss" and realized the ever eminent brewing tantrum of my duo of one year olds, she let us on our merry way. We passed no fewer than 3-4 elderly ladies grinning at the stroller & making gushy eyes - I say elderly because I mistakenly parked at the wrong entrance to Dillard's and had to walk my trio of criers out of the ladies department instead of the housewares and kid's department where usually we go unnoticed because young couples in all of their registering glory haven't even noticed how cute my kids are yet and most moms shopping in the kid's department have learned early on how to tune out whiny squealing kids.


...drifting, drifting!!


Anywhoo...just last year on one of my 1st outings out with my Diva M.I.L. and our girls - I guess they were maybe a month or two old - she was talking with one of the many gushers who had to stop and gush over our sweet 'gush-worthy' babies in the deluxe double stroller. I swear that thing alone is a gusher magnet. It is truly deluxe. It draws the eye to itself that no other single stroller ever could. It's super svelte. I can weave in and out of aisles in stores like a seasoned pro (except for Gymboree, which my angst for that store is for another post) without tipping over a single rack. Except for that one time Izzy reached out and simply out of pure luck clasped her fat fingers at the right time around the 8th dress on a rack with no bumper and proceeded to pull all eight dresses to the floor.

....drifting, drifting again...

So, Mrs. Kay was bragging on our system of keeping the girls on a schedule. Giving me credit and making me blush - totally disregarding the fact that I probably would have gone to bed and never gotten out had it been for my Mom & Mother-In-Law. She also said something that made me almost break my neck from whipping my head around away from pulling Alexander away from a rack that he was trying to hide under.

She said, "I've always wanted twins, but only have gotten one - at a time!!"

Now, we've had numerous heart to hearts about simply everything. Parenting, Marriage, Motherhood, Sisterhood, Chris, Jesus, etc....

But we've never, and I mean never had a heart to heart about her wanting twins. Yes, she says. Since she was a little girl. I thought about that later when things weren't so hectic. I NEVER knew this about her and her love for multiples. (Hint, hint...note the brownie points I'm rackin' up. Thanks to Iz & So!)

I guess so it goes for lots of things that we wish for and don't get them. Like in middle school, I wanted a pair of snazzy red ropers - that's cowgirl boots in teenage language {don't judge me, it was the fashion then!} But when the time came for me to pick them out I chickened out and got the safe colored navy blue - lace up, no doubt. Katie, my kindred spirit best friend since a hundred years ago reassured me that it was okay that I chickened out and she would share with me her snazzy red ropers anytime I wanted to wear them I could. But she wears a size 9 or 10 & the only thing little on this body is my minute size 8 shoe. I guess that it wasn't meant to be for me to ever wear snazzy red ropers. Even after I tried to stuff socks in the toes to make them fit....I think I tripped in the hall in school and never tried that again.

Anyway, back to multiples. I think that it would have been nice for Mrs. Kay to have had twins. It sure woulda given me a leg up on raisin' these manic multiples! I really don't know if what I'm doing with this brewd of mine is the norm or if I need classes or therapy or just a weekend away. We are wingin' it. Flying by the seat of our pants. Making it up as we go. Rolling with the flow. You get my drift.

But I never thought it out. I barely thought of having singles. As a young girl, I really didn't want kids at all. Hows that for a thought to tell you kids as they get older. I think that I was just immature and selfish in that I didn't want to give of myself, to share life with anyone. However, once I married Chris I immediately longed to have children. To watch them grow, to give them a fabulous life, to love them and snuggle with them, to teach them about Jesus as our parents taught us.

NEVER, in a million years NEVER, did I imagine that I would have a son and two daughters. I thought that we'd have a boy & a girl and get comfortable with our little nuclear family and live life. Boy, was I WRONG. I'm glad about how wrong I was. What a blessed life I live. What a treasure that God has given me.

Once, someone told me, "I've always wanted twins, but only have gotten one," I fired back with, "I only wanted one but got two!!" The first time I said that I felt guilty. I would never want one of my girls to think I didn't want them. I definitely don't say it anymore.But I am glad now that I see the bigger picture. Who am I that God would think so much of me to entrust me not only with one but two. Not only two but three. Where would I be if I dictated where my life should go and not go. Where would I be if I thought only the best things for myself were of the present time and not looking ahead.

Thank You, Lord, that You know.....You knew all this time that I wanted twins!

It took me until October 31st in 2007 to know it!!

Isaiah 55:8-11
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.