Don't Tell NO ONE, OK?

Alexander: Mom, I have to tell you something.

Mom: OK, What?

Alexander: Don't tell no one, okay?

Mom: OK, Alexander.

Alexander: Kids just know things.

Mom: What kinds of things?

Alexander: Just things. All kinds of things. They just know. Don't tell NO ONE, OK?

Mom: OK, Bubb, I won't tell NO ONE.

Alexander: You know how I know these things?

Mom: How Bubb?

Alexander: 'Cause I'm a kid. Don't tell NO ONE, OK?

Conversations with an Almost Five Year Old

Enter Mom & Bubb finishing nightly prayers.

Alexander: Mom, I don't want you to die.

Mom: Bubb, what makes you think I'm dying?

Alexander: I saw a lady on Dad's CD and she was smoking and she could die.

Mom: Bubb, I don't smoke.

Alexander: Are you gonna die?

Mom: Hopefully not for a long time. You know, some people who smoke don't die. It's all in what God has planned for your life.

Alexander: Um, what happens when you die?

Mom: Well, we believe that if you have Jesus in your heart you will go to heaven.

Alexander: No, what happens when you die? Like will you fly to heaven?

Mom: Well, our souls go to heaven and our bodies stay here on earth.

Alexander: No, no, how do you die?

{Insert Mom sweating....NOW!}

Mom: Well, your heart might stop beating and you stop breathing.

Alexander: You mean we don't breath in heaven?

Mom: I'm not sure but I don't think so.

Alexander: What is heaven like?

Mom: Oh my, there are angels everywhere with huge, beautiful wings and big houses with swimming pools and streets made out of gold. It's a very beautiful place.

Alexander: Will Dad need to bring the stroller?

{Insert stifled giggles}

Mom: Huh? Why would we bring the stroller?

......long, awkward pause......

Alexander: Well, um, what does our heart look like?

Mom: Uhhh, I think that might be something we can look up tomorrow on the internet.

Alexander: Well, is it like a heart on a Thanksgiving Card?

Mom: Okay, are you stalling? Because if you are, I'm going now. Go to sleep, Bubb.

Alexander: Mom, I'm glad you don't smoke & you're not gonna DIE!!!

Chest Pains

A few mornings ago Alexander woke up saying his chest hurt him. He was a tad bit bent over like he was an old man. I kinda got panicked but then remembered he is the master of hypochondria.

I asked him where it hurt, how it hurt, etc. I listened to his heart beat - it sounded normal and in rhythm. Maybe he slept on his side wrong and his muscles were hurting?



Alexander: "Nah, I slept good."



Momma: "Well lets just lay on the couch for a few minutes and see how you feel."



Alexander: "Mom, I think my heart stopped beeping last night."



Momma: "Oh, really?"



Alexander: "Yeah, I think it's broken in two."



Ring, ring: Momma:{Insert panicky voice now} "Chris, Alexander woke up in pain in his chest. I'm kinda worried but don't know what to do. Do you think I should call the pediatrician, go to the ER?"



Daddy: "Well Babe, what's he doing now?"



Momma: "Climbing on the living room table. Have a good day, babe. I'll talk to you later. GET DOWN OFF OF THAT TABLE!!"



Momma: "Alexander, let's pray for your chest to feel better."



....A few minutes later after fussing at him to get down off of the table A.G.A.I.N.



Momma: "Alexander, how are you feeling?"



Alexander: "Good, I'm almost healed."



Momma: "Oh yeah? I think Jesus has already healed you. We claimed it in His Name, remember?"



Alexander: "No, not yet."



Momma: "Not yet?"



Alexander: "Nah, He hasn't made it here yet. But, He'll be here soon and I'll tell you when He is."

Ohhh, to be a fly on my wall

Alexander: Mom, you're the best Mom I've ever loved.

Mom: Oh, you've had other Moms?

Alexander: Well, your the best Mom I've ever wanted.

Mom: Oh, you want another Mom?

Alexander: Well, maybe just Nanny....

Mom: Oh...

Alexander: Well, She's nicer to me, sometimes.

Mom: Oh...

Alexander: And She lets me play the boy's video games when I go over.

Mom: Oh, really?

Alexander: Yeah!! Even when it's not my turn!

Mom: Alexander, turn over & go to sleep!

Alexander: Can I have another sip of water?

Mom: No, you'll tee tee all night!!

Alexander: Nanny would let me have a sip of water....

The Conversation Went Something Like This...

Today I spent the day helping my Mom pack her & Dad's house as they are moving across the bayou in a few weeks.
I dropped off the girls at Daycare for the day and Alexander was going to spend the day with Mom & I.
However, Ann called & said that she & the boys were walking to the park and would I like to drop Alexander off to spend time with them. I found a stopping point in packing and drove to the little park up the road. Visited with Ann for a minute and went on back to sorting knick-knacks in Mom's computer room.
About an hour later, my phone rang and the caller i.d. said "Ann's Cell." When I answered, she said, "nothing's wrong, I just thought I'd call to tell you what the conversation was like on the walk home from the park."

And it went something like this:

Alexander: Andrew, you know what? I gotta stepdad.

Andrew: Uh oh, no you don't have a stepdad.

Caleb: (Giggling) Alexander, you are lying, you don't have a stepdad.

Alexander: Yes, I do. I gotta stepdad.

Nanny: Alexander, are you being truthful? I don't think you have a stepdad.

Alexander: (Grinning from ear-to-ear) Uh-huh, I did have a stepdad, but he died. He died.

Nanny: Alexander, you are telling a story. You know you don't have a stepdad.

Alexander: Nahhhhh, I'm just picking, I'm just picking.

Later that afternoon Nanny heard Landry walking through the house: I wish I had a stepdad....

I think I'll dream about....

So, Alexander has been coming into our room consistantly around 3 a.m. telling us he's scared and has had a bad dream and there's a monster in his room. What parent can say they haven't lived this scenario?
So I've been praying with him before bedtime and it goes something like this:
Mommy: Jesus, please be with Alexander tonight. Help him to sleep good and have a restful night in his big-boy bed. Help him to have sweet dreams, help him to have good dreams about tractors and golf carts and swimming and...
Alexander: No, no, Mommy, we already prayed to dream about tractors.
Mommy: Well, you don't want to dream about tractors tonight?
Alexander: ummm, no. I dreamed about tractors last night.
Mommy: Okay, what do you want to pray for to dream about tonight?
Alexander: ummmm, ummmm, (are you noticing the stall tactic, yet?) ummmm, coloring, watching TV, riding my 4-wheeler, oh and my sisters!

Oh, if it were that easy!!