Conversations with an Almost Five Year Old

Enter Mom & Bubb finishing nightly prayers.

Alexander: Mom, I don't want you to die.

Mom: Bubb, what makes you think I'm dying?

Alexander: I saw a lady on Dad's CD and she was smoking and she could die.

Mom: Bubb, I don't smoke.

Alexander: Are you gonna die?

Mom: Hopefully not for a long time. You know, some people who smoke don't die. It's all in what God has planned for your life.

Alexander: Um, what happens when you die?

Mom: Well, we believe that if you have Jesus in your heart you will go to heaven.

Alexander: No, what happens when you die? Like will you fly to heaven?

Mom: Well, our souls go to heaven and our bodies stay here on earth.

Alexander: No, no, how do you die?

{Insert Mom sweating....NOW!}

Mom: Well, your heart might stop beating and you stop breathing.

Alexander: You mean we don't breath in heaven?

Mom: I'm not sure but I don't think so.

Alexander: What is heaven like?

Mom: Oh my, there are angels everywhere with huge, beautiful wings and big houses with swimming pools and streets made out of gold. It's a very beautiful place.

Alexander: Will Dad need to bring the stroller?

{Insert stifled giggles}

Mom: Huh? Why would we bring the stroller?

......long, awkward pause......

Alexander: Well, um, what does our heart look like?

Mom: Uhhh, I think that might be something we can look up tomorrow on the internet.

Alexander: Well, is it like a heart on a Thanksgiving Card?

Mom: Okay, are you stalling? Because if you are, I'm going now. Go to sleep, Bubb.

Alexander: Mom, I'm glad you don't smoke & you're not gonna DIE!!!